While pivotal in the upbringing of their own sons, fathers have an equally significant role and impact in the healthy development of their daughters. ♦
In a previous post, Key Essentials for Sons (4/30/21), the importance of parents and particularly fathers was highlighted and the pivotal role they play in the proper teaching and upbringing of children, specifically their sons.
Certainly this key role is just as significant for the complete and healthy development of their daughters.
Again, in the Old Testament (see Deuteronomy 6 and 11) the Hebrews were instructed to know the instructions of God and pass them on diligently to their children “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down.” Sons were called to carry on this role as they were future heads of households (yes, there is a God-ordained hierarchy).
While there is nothing notable in scriptures that pertains specifically to the father-daughter relationship, there is nonetheless implied healthy guidance in the passing along of key essentials for daughters by fathers.
Healthy Key Essentials for Daughters
As daughters are designed to be wives to men and mothers to children in populating the earth and perpetuating the human race, they need spiritual, psychological and emotional health to carry out their important responsibilities.
As with sons, for fathers there are 4 healthy key essentials to pass down to daughters:
- A Godly Worldview – modern fathers should instill a God-fearing worldview and initiate young women into the ways of the Lord and their ordained roles as women, wives and mothers. (Note: read Proverbs 31 to get a Biblical view of a highly effective woman.)
- A Masculine Model – as their mother demonstrates a Proverbs 31 model of womanhood (strong competence in the household and marketplace), a young daughter needs to see a strong masculine role modeled ideally by her father as a living example and supported by the Word of God.
- A Purposeful Vision – in light of a Biblical worldview, all young men and women are to be taught something to live for beyond their own selfish wants and desires.
- A Desirable Beauty – young girls/women need to hear from their father that they are lovely and desirable. A healthy sense of one’s beauty and desirability from the perspective of her father leads to a healthy view of self and self-worth.
Twirling for Daddy
The image of a young daughter dancing and twirling in front of her father is more than cute and touching. It is a blatant opportunity for love, approval, validation and demonstration of a father’s joy and delight in his little girl. That she needs this from her father is essential. If she continuously receives this love she is secure and being prepared to release herself to the man of her dreams someday – a man like Daddy. It also can shape her perspective and acceptance of the love of her heavenly Father.
If this validation of her loveliness and worthy approval is missed or never delivered, the consequences can be tragic. A young woman will seek and crave this from other men and sources potentially ignoble and unhealthy. Whether they like the responsibility or not, fathers hold the key to her healthy future relationships.
Date Your Daughter
On a practical note: fathers, date your daughter in her youth and into adulthood. The time spent will be well worth it. Take her on age-appropriate outings like to get a cup of ice cream, or ride a bike to a local park, or to a ball game, or out to breakfast or lunch. As she gets older you can get dressed up to go out to dinner with her. They key is that it is just be the two of you, father and daughter. With multiple daughters, make sure you provide equal time. Your daughter will feel very special as she is treated as a special and worthy person.
Fathers who love, cherish and nurture their daughters as our heavenly Father loves and cherishes us are well rewarded. And as a father’s heart is touched by his sweet twirling ballerina in her youth, his joy continues as his daughter blossoms into a woman of substance and depth. That she is healthy in heart, mind, body and spiritually well-grounded is a father’s delight.
As I did these things with my own daughter when she was growing up, I now have further blessings in watching my two sons and son-in-law do the same with their own young daughters (4 of them pictured above). As 7 of our 10 grandchildren are little girls, these young fathers are actively living out teaching their daughters a Godly worldview, modeling a healthy masculine male in their life who is gentle, loving, and strong, helping them develop a sense of purpose and vision of a life that loves and follows God, and developing their self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth.
As a father and now grandfather, it’s a wonderful thing to watch and be an active participant in the development and preparation of subsequent generations.
As a father, are you teaching these essentials to your daughters?
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7