For Daughters Only

By Michael Griego on May 31, 2024 • ( 2 )

While fathers have a crucial role in the upbringing of their sons, they have a particularly significant role and impact in the healthy development of their daughters. ◊

I’ve noted in the past that “as the father goes, so goes the family.” Fathers are husbands and dads and leaders of their family. While they play a pivotal role in the proper teaching and upbringing of both their sons and daughters, this post will focus on the key role they play and the impact they have in the complete and healthy development of their daughters.

Biblical Foundation
In the Old Testament, the Hebrews were instructed to know the commands of God and pass them on diligently to their children, sons and daughters:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

As their children did not witness the miracles coming out Egypt with Moses, they are to be taught the ways and means of God so their days may be many:

Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always. Remember today that your children were not the ones who saw and experienced the discipline of the Lord your God: his majesty, his mighty hand, his outstretched arm… (Deuteronomy 11:1-2)

Teach them to your children…. [S]o that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. (Deuteronomy 11:19-21)

While there is nothing notable in scriptures that pertains specifically to the father-daughter relationship, there is nonetheless implied healthy guidance in the passing along of key essentials for daughters by fathers.

Essentials for Daughters Only
As daughters are designed to be wives to men and mothers to children in populating the earth and perpetuating the human race, they need spiritual, psychological and emotional health to carry out their important responsibilities.

For fathers there are 4 key essentials to pass down to daughters:

A Godly Worldview – modern fathers should instill a God-fearing worldview and initiate young women into the ways of the Lord and their ordained roles as women, wives and mothers. (Note: read Proverbs 31 to get a Biblical view of a highly effective woman on many fronts inside and outside the home.)
A Masculine Model – as their mother demonstrates a Proverbs 31 model of womanhood (strong competence in the household and in the marketplace), a young daughter needs to see a strong masculine role modeled, ideally her father, as a living example and supported by the Word of God.
A Purposeful Vision – in light of a Biblical worldview, all young men and women are to be taught something to live for beyond their own selfish wants and desires. A perspective acknowledging God as their Creator and Lord provides a healthy foundation and purpose beyond themselves.
A Desirable Beauty – young girls/women need to hear from their father that they are lovely and desirable. A healthy sense of one’s beauty and desirability from the perspective of her father leads to a healthy view of self and self-worth that will be invaluable as she grows older.

Twirling for Daddy
The image of a young daughter dancing and twirling in front of her father is more than cute and touching. It is a blatant opportunity for love, approval, validation and demonstration of a father’s joy and delight in his little girl.

That she needs this from her father is essential. If she continuously receives this love and acceptance from him, she grows up secure and is being prepared to release herself to the man of her dreams someday – a man like Daddy. It also can shape her perspective and acceptance of the love of her heavenly Father.

If this validation of her loveliness and worthy approval is missed or never delivered, the consequences can be tragic. A young woman will seek and crave this from other men and sources potentially ignoble and unhealthy.

Whether they like the responsibility or not, fathers hold the key to their daughter’s healthy future relationships.

Date Your Daughter
On a practical note: fathers, date your daughter in her youth and into adulthood. The time spent will be well worth it. Take her on age-appropriate outings like to get a cup of ice cream, or ride a bike to a local park, or to a ball game, or out to breakfast or lunch. As she gets older you can get dressed up to go out to dinner with her.

The key is that it just be the two of you, father and daughter. With multiple daughters, make sure you provide equal time. Your daughter will feel very special as she is treated as a special and worthy person.

Fathers who love, cherish and nurture their daughters as our heavenly Father loves and cherishes us are well rewarded. And as a father’s heart is touched by his sweet twirling ballerina in her youth, his joy continues as his daughter blossoms into a woman of substance and depth.

That she is healthy in heart, mind, body and spiritually well-grounded is a father’s ultimate delight.

Blessings Upon Blessings
As I did these things with my own daughter when she was growing up, I now have further blessings in watching my two sons and son-in-law do the same with their own daughters (see 4 of them pictured above). As 7 of our 10 grandchildren are little girls, these good fathers are actively living out teaching their daughters a Godly worldview, modeling a healthy masculine male in their life who is gentle, loving, and strong, helping them develop a sense of purpose and vision of a life that loves and follows God, and developing their self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth.

As a father and now grandfather, it’s a wonderful thing to watch and be an active participant in the development and preparation of subsequent generations.

As a father, are you teaching these essentials to your daughters?
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“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7