If we’re honest with ourselves and each other, we’re all posers living in clever disguise shielding long-standing pains and wounds that diminish the peace, freedom and full joy meant for one of God’s creation. We may believe that we’re less than we could be as a result of a false view of deserved penalties for our own short-comings and sin, or we cover up our problems and guilt with a deceptively cheery “It’s all good!” or a pious “God’s in control!” Either way it can be a subtle and misleading cycle of insecurity, self-condemnation and false, shallow optimism.
Like a Good Father
As we learn to break destructive agreements with the Enemy (see Living in Spiritual Warfare)– “Lord, I break the agreement in my mind that I am not worthy; forgive me for believing these lies; I know I am loved and forgiven by you just as I am” – we come out of hiding and into the light of truth and healing. But all is not so simple and easy. God does not so easily teach and develop. Like a good father with patience and lessons for his children for the hard road of life, He calls us to purposeful and humble growth at times beyond our capacity to understand. Just as Jesus named Peter as “a Rock” before his great failing on the night of Jesus’ arrest, God sees us as the finished product while we are barely learning the lessons or even comprehending the arena and game.
It’s a maturity issue and one of understanding His love and ways. He doesn’t necessarily knock us upside the head when we step out of line, but in our own distorted sense of holy fairness we think God is on His throne waiting to whack us or anyone else when we sin, think bad thoughts, or veer off track. He loves us more than that.
Asking the Wrong Questions
Like Abram called out from Ur of the Chaldeans to a land he’s never seen, Jacob called to Mesopotamia, or Moses called from Egypt, despite our past we can move boldly into the fearful unknown when guided and initiated by our wise God and His good plans for us. However, we’re often asking God for the wrong things:
- “God, can you please heal me and make my life better? …get me a job?”
- “Lord, why did you let this happen to me? …why now?”
- “God, why won’t you just help me succeed? …have great kids? …fix my marriage?”
To enter healed into a new journey and initiation with God, it requires a new set of questions:
- “Lord, what are you trying to teach me here?”
- “God, what issues in my heart are you trying to show me through this?”
- “God, what is it you want me to let go of?”
- “Lord, what is it you want me to do?”
Our wounds are a source of shame and a great cover-up from which we construct a false self. When we surrender our will to Him and His desire, He is faithful and just to forgive us, though not necessarily without further trials. He thwarts us to save us. In my own life over the past decade I’ve experienced His guiding hand blessing my surrender and thwarting my false self. In hindsight, like Peter and then Paul, I see my greatest growth through struggles. Drop the mask and fig leaf by facing your fears through surrender and repentance. It’s refreshing, cathartic. It’s living a healed life.
Are you living a healed life in full freedom and authenticity with God?
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. – Psalm 51:10-12